Intimate Partner Violence: Signs, Statistics, and How to Get Help

Written by Rosana Nava, LCSW and Yvette Visconte, LCSW

May is Women’s Health Awareness Month. Health encompasses physical, mental, and emotional health. At Families Together of Orange County (FTOC), part of supporting women’s health includes raising awareness of various issues that impact health. One key issue impacting women today is intimate partner violence (IPV).

What Is Intimate Partner Violence?

Domestic violence (DV) and IPV, often used interchangeably, occur in romantic relationships or families and is defined by aggressive and/or controlling behavior by one partner over another. It is a pattern of abuse aimed at having power and control over another individual. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that at least 1 in 3 women have experienced some form of domestic violence or IPV in their lifetimes.^[i] Incidents of IPV are often unreported or underreported, indicating that rates are likely even higher. It affects women of every age and background, and rates have been found to be higher in women from low socio-economic backgrounds.^[ii]

Types of Intimate Partner Violence

IPV describes different types of abuse, including physical, sexual, emotional/verbal, and financial. Physical abuse includes any type of hitting, slapping, pushing, pulling hair, spitting, or any other type of behavior meant to cause physical harm. Sexual abuse includes use of force or coercion in sexual acts, and encompasses reproductive coercion. Emotional/verbal abuse includes gaslighting behavior, put downs, excessive blaming, and/or name calling. Financial abuse includes limiting access to money, not allowing someone to have their own bank accounts, and/or negatively impacting someone’s credit.

The Cycle of IPV

IPV happens in a cycle, and is rarely, if ever, a one-time occurrence. The cycle of violence begins with the honeymoon stage, where the person causing harm will engage in behaviors such as “love bombing” too quickly, but falsely, create a sense of safety and love in a relationship. This behavior includes things like saying “I love you” early on, expensive or an abundance of gift buying, and/or quickly becoming exclusive. The honeymoon stage is followed by the tension building stage. In this stage, the person being harmed feels like they are “walking on eggshells.” The person who harms starts showing anger, excessive annoyance, or starts shutting down or becomes emotionally unavailable. Lastly, there is the violence stage. In this stage, the person who is harming becomes violent and exerts power and control over their partner. They engage in physical, sexual, emotional/verbal, or financial abuse. After the violent incident, the cycle repeats itself starting in the honeymoon/reconciliation stage. The person who harms may become overly apologetic, and once again buy gifts, uses love and jealousy as justifications for actions, and/or promises to change, all with the aim of offering hope that things will change and that safety is present in the relationship. Typically, the length of the cycle shortens over time causing the abusive incidents to occur more frequently, and the honeymoon phase can disappear completely leaving only the tension and violent stages.^[iii]

How IPV Affects Physical and Mental Health

The impact of IPV on individuals is extensive and complex. It can impact a person’s physical and mental health in different ways. It can cause physical injuries, chronic pain, sleep disturbances, eating disturbances, and can impact reproductive health. In fact, IPV during pregnancy is correlated with higher risk outcomes.^[iv] IPV can impact mental health in a variety of ways as well. It can lead to symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Often, the person who is harming not only commits acts of violence, but also engages in behavior aimed at isolating the individual, thus increasing impact on physical and mental health. They can begin to coerce the individual into spending less and less time with family and friends. They often do not allow individuals to attend medical appointments, or will accompany them to appointments to monitor what the individual is saying to their provider. This can prevent the person being harmed from seeking support.

How FTOC Can Help

It is vital that healthcare centers and providers understand how IPV presents itself in patients in order to be able to help if needed. At FTOC, our medical providers are trained to assess and identify risk factors for IPV. A medical provider can be a safe person to tell about IPV because they are knowledgeable, can provide resources, and can offer privacy. A medical provider can also ask the partner who harms to wait outside during medical visits. In addition, FTOC providers can offer internal resources.

At FTOC, we offer a variety of services that can support someone experiencing IPV. FTOC has medical services, including PCP services, wellness services, and behavioral health services. Through our Behavioral Health department, individuals can connect with a trained therapist who will meet with them 1 on 1 and who can help with resources and safety planning. Safety planning is a key part of planning to leave a partner who causes harm as violence can increase when individuals first leave an abusive relationship. FTOC trained professionals can help support and guide individuals on their journey towards healing.

How to Support Someone Experiencing IPV

If you know someone who is experiencing IPV and would like to support, here are a few tips to support them: talk to them in a safe and private environment, remind them that the abuse is not their fault, listen without judgement, or advice, and encourage them to seek support from a professional.^[v]

If you or someone you know is experiencing IPV, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.